By: Robert Rader
7/22/03 -- Only last year the Connecticut legislature required school boards to adopt policies addressing bullying behavior in the schools. Whether or not this legislation actually leads to less bullying, the fact that it passed is a sign of the times.
Considering what seems to be happening in our society, bullying and incivility seem to be on the rise in America.
Have you listened to talk radio lately or seen any of the television shows that pit "conservatives" against "liberals"? Or gone into a chat room? Have you read letters to the editor in your local newspaper?
People seem to be flailing at each other with undisguised glee. What happened to basic human decency?
The major league baseball season is only a couple of months old, but has seen an umpire attacked and players hit by home team fans throwing cellular phones. It's interesting (but, quite scary) that the fans have found a new way to use their phones to communicate. Rather than "take me out to the ball game," are we to be left with "carry me out of the old ball game"?
And from what I've read, it's no better at the Little League level.
It was less than two years ago that, immediately after Sept. 11, we seemed to be talking to each other in more gentle terms. But now we're into something totally different.
It didn't take much time for the anxiety of the times to be translated into less than civil discourse. Tough economic times, combined with the war in Iraq and other issues, have led some to forget that democracy requires a willingness to hear other sides of a discussion and, in the end, to compromise.
Take a look at what's going on with your school district's budget. In one district, the local newspaper's letters to the editor section makes it sound as if the school board's only goal is to raise taxes (apparently, for the sheer pleasure of it).
Citizens making these accusations virtually accuse board members of malevolence, of simply wanting more money for the district out of spite. Board members are accused of ignoring the difficult plight of senior citizens and others on fixed incomes. Those opposing the board's proposed budget are extremely cynical about what the board will do if the budget does not pass.
Does this sound like your district?
In other communities, budget battles have become partisan affairs. Too often, comments on budgets are political statements that do nothing to strengthen the schools -- or the community.
No longer do boards get the benefit of the doubt. Their credibility runs head on into the fierce cynicism of some members of the public, in an already stressful time. Tactics that might be seen as bullying when done by children are seen as appropriate when carried out by adults.
As leaders, boards of education have the responsibility of maintaining a civil, appropriate level of discourse in their communities. Even while making difficult decisions on their budgets and dealing with members of the public who have very different agendas, board members remain visible representatives of public education and our system of government.
Difficult as it may be at times, they must show that they understand that democracy requires maintaining high levels of discussion.
But boards of education should also be able to count on receiving the respect they deserve. Board members are volunteers who give up much of their time to serve their communities. They have been elected and are considered agents of the state.
I have never met a board member who did not try to increase the quality of the education we provide to students, even if I did not agree with the board member's agenda or methods.
Board members, town council members, and members of the public should act as appropriate role models in their districts. After all, many board meetings are televised or written about in the media, and we have an obligation to act in a manner that brings credit to our communities.
Democracy requires that we behave in a manner that ensures all points of view will be heard, but in an appropriate, civil tone.
Here are some questions that you might want to ask yourself as you participate in this process:
* Do I communicate with others, even those I disagree with, in a respectful manner?
* Do I deal with conflicts openly and honestly?
* Does my agenda lead to a good result for my community, state, and nation?
* Do I respect the need for civility and appropriate behavior in our democracy?
I hope that when budgets have been put to bed and the economy picks up again we can spend some time thinking about how to put more civility back into our lives.
Boards of education, other local governments, and the public at large -- all under stress now -- can serve a very valuable role in this effort, by encouraging appropriate, civil discussions on the issues their communities face.
Getting back to where we talk to each other, rather than at each other, is the first step in improving the quality of all of our lives -- and maybe, just maybe, reducing some of the stress, too. Robert Rader is executive director of the Connecticut Association of Boards of Education.